November 9th, 2008
The scenario is very familiar to us. On one side of the arena we have the horses and on the other side a huddle of humans. The humans have been trying the same thing over and over again. It hasn’t been accomplishing their goal. Sure, they had some partial successes, but a great deal of effort failed to get the targeted end result. Now they are regrouping to figure what to do next.
And while the horses reactions to the repeated efforts seemed resistant, stubborn or frustrating to the humans, those reactions made perfect sense in the clear wisdom of the horse: communication from the humans was not clear, was not respectful, often was not even there in any recognizable way. Not only that, the human response was often filled with anxiety or frustration – horses are sensitive and while they might not have known why that emotion was there, certainly they picked up on it when it occurred.
Angie and I would stand aside and let the huddle of humans regroup, would allow them to generate ideas and take wisdom from the ways the horses responded to them to that point. Typically they would go back with some new energy, or a different idea, or even a different sense of leadership within themselves.
Well, this scenario is happening again. It is happening with roles slightly reversed. Angie and I are the ones are regrouping.
As I have written this blog I have wrestled with whether or not to include a part of this scenario. Well, here goes: the horses have been telling us something for years and while Angie had noticed and we had made some adjustments and considerations to the equines involved, we had not realized how important that communication from the horses had been.
Because ours is a respectful and cooperative partnership I asked Angie for her thoughts on what I’d written and this is how she replied.
“Equines are always well aware of the hierarchy in the herd, and they are constantly challenging the ones who rank above them. It’s no different in the horse/human relationship; equines challenge our leadership each time we interact with them. I have found that while doing this work the equines have too often succeeded in rising above the humans which has made them more difficult to work with as time goes by. This difficulty could probably be minimized if I were to regularly ride and work the equines using clear communication and well developed leadership skills however it seems as though other priorities have taken up all of my time. It seems as though the crazily busy life style is a recurring theme for so many people these days.
I’ve spent a lot of time regrouping and thinking about how we can continue to do this work in a way that provides more clarity for equines and humans. There has also been some time invested into some of the equines with positive results. In conclusion, I’m happy to say that I’ve come up with some creative solutions that I feel will be of great benefit to all involved.
… and back to Terry’s voice again… Of course, as a psychologist I work with humans regrouping all the time. They come to my office struggling with the craziness of doing the same thing over and over again expecting to get a different result. The psychologist’s office can be a place to examine unworkable perspectives and patterns. And as we work through the anxiety and frustration we typically bring back the basics of healthy living that had been left out of the unsuccessful efforts before.
As a psychologist I frequently refocus the humans onto basic values. Typically I find that they have become too attached to a particular desired outcome, strategizing to get what they want even if that was at the expense of who they were. And it makes sense that they have been depressed in the process.
And so, Angie and I are taking some time to go back to some basic values and will recreate our program in line with these values. We can’t tell you right now exactly what our program is going to look like, but these things that have been important to Angie and me are sure to be included.
First of all, we will make sure that communication and interaction will be respectful. We work hard in our interaction with our human clientele to ask respectful questions of them. Between Angie and I there is a pattern of respectful acknowledgement of differences in contribution and efforts. Angie has a profound respect for the well-being of her equines as she cares for them and interacts with them. Yes, this is one of the values that has to be in everything that we do.
Secondly, as we re-create our program for the betterment of humans we will draw on wisdom that we have gained in the many years of our life work. Angie has four decades of equine experience, and I have more than three decades of work as a psychologist. There are resources of knowledge and awareness that we can bring to this venture that can be included in a different approach.
Thirdly, our love of horses, and of humans, will be the basis of what we do. There is great power and vulnerability in both species. Human ventures can go sour, can misuse power and can take advantage of vulnerability – but human ventures (such as Equine Wise Services) can also be powerful without creating harm, without being exploitive, and without leaving residuals of resistance and the need for reactive self-protection.
And I feel this inside, so strong: Coming soon is our next way of generating that unique human wisdom that can be gained through horseplay. That is what Equine Wise Services will always be about.
Whinnying off for now, and perhaps for a while,
Terry
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October 26th, 2008
Tarabelle
As a psychologist I often spend time with individuals who have lost their optimism. And perhaps as you read this blog in some aspect of your life, or even in nearly every aspect of your life, your optimism has been lost.
Hold that thought. I want to introduce you to a new equine that has come to our program. And I promise that having both ideas in mind - the thing about lost optimism and the one about the new donkey – that those two things together will make sense by the end of the blog.
She is beautiful in the wonderful way that donkeys can be. Her hair is a deep brown colour so that she gets called such names as ‘Mocha’ by our clients. And of course, her nose is white. She is trim and fleet of hoof. And her name is Tarabelle.
When we first get a new equine into our program we watch for temperament and manners. Of course, we want our clientele to be physically safe. We also want to get an idea what sort of reactions the equine is likely to have in client situations to help us plan activities and select the equines to be involved – hoping to make the best fit for client needs. And so when Tarabelle came we had some observing to do.
Fortunately, we have started to use Tarabelle in the midst of a magnificent autumn of blue skies, comfortable temperatures and trees changed to hues of brilliant yellow and gold. This has been perfect weather for us to have our sessions in the outdoor paddock. It is with this backdrop I see Tarabelle with our clients. Oh by the way, we are looking forward to having Tarabelle work with our clients because she is proving a little hard to catch. Ah, should be interesting times, eh?
And so a client enters the paddock with the task of sorting out which of the three equines there might get the name “optimism” as he has experienced “optimism” in his life. The client had a couple of halters to experiment with and he went from one equine to another. And as equine temperament and manners would have it, it was Tarabelle who was the last one left.
The client was careful in his approach, and even hid the halter behind his back (do you think that would fool a wise and self-protective donkey?). Crouched down in front of her he got close enough to reach out and touch her nose. I have this vivid picture of it all, watching them in profile with the fabulous blue sky and the brilliant autumn leaves, and her mocha brown hair. It is beautiful.
And then she scampered off.
Later as we were walking back from the paddock we talked about his relationship with optimism in his life. He used to have it well in hand. This client has had a period of recovery from a life changing crisis, gradually building back. He has been surrounded by good people and has done very well in many ways. He has much that he likes about his life right now. But optimism has largely left him.
But as we talked after the time in the paddock, he could tell me times even recently when he touches optimism even in the midst of this, little things that have went well. It was like crouching in front of Tarabelle and reaching out to touch her nose, halter behind his back.
I don’t know where future sessions will go. I suspect that he will eventually get Tarabelle haltered. And I hope that in the strange way of the human mind that he will realize that he is getting a firmer hold on optimism as well. It will be great if it works out that way.
Optimism is a feeling about the future that is somewhat like the vivid blue and the brilliant golds of an autumn day. There is a sense of clarity about it. There is a sense of beauty and appreciation wrapped up together. It is a way of thinking about the future that recognizes that even though branches will become barren and skies will eventually be leaden overhead, there is still profound knowing that it is a magnificent world and we can be present within it.
The Canadian autumn will progress. The client will continue his journey of recovery. And Tarabelle will show her unique temperament and manners in sessions. And while all of this may present its difficulty and discomforts we can still reach out and touch, and perhaps eventually get control of a deeply positive sense of ourselves and our future.
Thank you, Tarabelle. What you did that day in the paddock was truly fine.
Whinnying off (or should I say “braying off?) for now
Terry
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October 12th, 2008
 - a different equine, a different day, but for the time it was, still on the other side of the obstacle.
Sometimes humans surprise me. They do this by pointing out things to me that I miss myself – it gets me thinking about my way of living in this crazy world.
Horses do the same thing. With horses, the things that I realize often start without words. They are there as feelings and awarenesses, arising out of connections between the horse and myself that doesn’t really need ‘worded’ thoughts. Sometimes I translate these into words, write about them in this blog, perhaps share them with another human. But sometimes they just are inside of me, working on the changes within me that are yet to be made. I think that it is in unspoken realizations that I get the most equine wisdom.
But recently a human said something that has made me think. He had just participated with a group of humans quickly accomplishing the goal of getting a horse over the obstacle in the center of the arena. There had been several horses in the arena and the group had succeeded at the task of getting one of the horses over the obstacle.
And this is what he said: That one of the other horses didn’t go over and wouldn’t go over if we did it the same way.
In our many years of doing this activity no one in the debriefing has ever shifted the focus onto the other horses that didn’t go over. We always talk about the one that did, what contributed to the completion of the task, how all of that is a metaphor for getting things done in our day to day lives.
Several times we have had salesman in our program talk about getting “the low hanging fruit” – those sales that are within easy reach. Other than identifying that the “high hanging fruit” takes a lot more effort, they really don’t feel too much responsibility to it – they can leave it for another product or salesperson and take their own easier sales as successes. For them, the horses that didn’t go over the obstacle are quite irrelevant – not even given a second thought.
Not so for our recent human. He was quite aware that the easiest one to get over was the one that went over, and that the horses that didn’t go over were to be given a second thought, and maybe a third thought, and maybe a completely different approach.
And you may not be surprised that this recent human is a special education teacher. He talked about the “left behinds” that exist in his world, the students that don’t respond along with the rest of their classes. And while a salesman is not likely to feel a responsibility to clean up all the potential sales, making sure they get the product and make the payment, a special education teacher does take on that responsibility in our school system. And let’s be thankful for that!
Now in our debriefing, when it became apparent that this human in saying what he said had made me think of the value and the meaning of the one that didn’t go over, discussion started to shift to the other horse. It wasn’t long before the group responded to the challenge of getting that other one over the obstacle. It took a little longer, and a different strategy but it happened.
By the way, the horse that at first didn’t go over, but in the end did, went over embedded in the group of horses moving together getting over the obstacle with the strength of the herd that could take him there. We had never seen that before in doing this activity. It looked a bit out of control and chaotic because there was a lot of vigorous horse movement and humans trying to keep it directed. But it was sweet.
What about the left-behinds in your life? Gosh, there are a whole lot of them when we think about it: the tidying tasks that we never get to; the work responsibilities that require us to work outside of our comfort zone; the relationships that are more complicated or less rewarding; the workers or students that just don’t get it as quickly as do the others.
For me, perhaps I need to somehow embed those things in the middle of the stuff that goes more easily, still insuring that they get the attention and care they require, but letting the energy of the easier successes carry them along too. And when I think about herd dynamics, I have a hunch that horses have always had the wisdom of doing this, doing it naturally and with what we might call grace.
Whinnying off for now,
Terry
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September 27th, 2008
According to a youth who recently came to Equine Wise Services for the first time, the horses in front of him in the paddock were violent. As Angie observed this she thought that he didn’t necessarily think that our horses were violent in comparison with other horses, but perhaps that horses in general were violent.
Now I recognize that many television programs are violent; and so also many video games too; and perhaps the same can be said about the lyrics of songs on certain popular radio stations. But our horses? “Violent” has never been the word I would have used to describe them.
This youth, upon entering the area where the horses were, stood very close behind me. He dramatically manipulated where I stood in the same way a riot control officer places his shield between his vulnerable body and the riotous mob. Fortunately though, this youth had the capacity to observe. Fortunately also, he was able to find out he could safely connect with each horse on its own. Once he was convinced it was safe, he would reach out a hand to touch.
When Shorty came to our herd, about six years ago, I suspect that he felt a bit like this youth – not about the horses, but about humans. It took a long time for Shorty to trust Angie, and then quite a while after that before he would let any other human get within touching range. Now he comes to sessions by his own choice (not all the time, but often enough). He comes and readily accepts our affection. At times he appears to create the energy of play, enjoying the process with the humans.
Now we can understand where this about Shorty came from – his previous owner didn’t much like mules and didn’t know how to handle them. We suspect during the guise of training that some physically hurtful techniques were used. And fortunately, when it came time for Shorty to be available at an “odd and unusual” auction, he found a human that loves mules and can relate to them in positive ways. Angie has been able to connect, create a space for Shorty (actually the entire farm as he can slip under fences which contain the other equines) and create a context for him to enjoy our human clientele.
Now as Shorty engages with the other equines in the paddock and arena it is sometimes with his teeth into a rump. And it is not unusual for him to engage in what we affectionately refer to as “the wheelbarrow race” his front hoofs coming from the rear to rest on the back of Honkey the Donkey (he can’t reach anyone else and if he tried, they’d let him have it). And it is also possible for Shorty to kick at humans – we have to be careful if clientele happen to box him in so there is no easy way of escape, or chase him in a way that would be threatening – and that kick has just ended in mid-air not connecting physically but giving a clear warning that he has had enough.
 ... getting his teeth in
 ... and getting him back Obviously, as a psychologist, I deal also with humans who see the world as violent and potentially dangerous. In addition to the world of television and videogames, often children do grow up in real-world environments of anger and aggression. We live in a competitive world that rewards folk for what they get: and, most of our getting is at the expense of others. Family violence and school yard bullying are too often what children observe, teaching them about unhealthy behaviors of human desires and motivations.
Sometimes as humans we generalize, taking an observation made in one circumstance and applying it to many places and situations. Perhaps that is a bit what happened with our youth, the one who used me as a riot shield. Maybe he had watched horses at feeding time, establishing among themselves the order they can go to the feed provided for them. Perhaps he had witnessed horses that had developed aggression toward humans as a way of keeping themselves safe (and given what some humans do to horses, that aggression can be understood).
But when we generalize aggression or violence to most or all situations of our lives we can act that out in turn, giving back what we think the world is giving to us. We might even engage in a pre-emptive intimidation, giving out violence even before it is given to us.
Well, Shorty has come a long way. His time at Jenovation Farm and working in the Equine Assisted Therapy program have brought out aspects of his character that the previous owner might consider a real surprise.
And we can hope that can be the case for our youth as well. The youth gets to come back to us for a few weeks running. Perhaps Shorty has a thing or two to show him about the world of humans.
Whinnying off for now
Terry
P.S. With respect to this youth, we have noticed that he doesn’t feel the same way (expecting violence) with the donkeys. Now that is interesting, and perhaps feed for an upcoming blog.
P.P.S. We invite our readers to write back in. One of our readers has graciously given permission to print her email and my response to it, thanks Peg. If you want to check out the blog which Peg was replying to go to the top of the page and click on the words “the perfect storm” to go back in the archives of this blog.
Terry and Angie…
I think you got me to step over the RSS pole. Being subjected to a variety of humans seems burdensome or unfair for the horses. Do they reveal bordem or bemusement or “beleaguredness”? What’s in it for the horses?
Peg Shuman
Dear Peg
Thanks for taking the time to write.
The subject of the effect of equine assisted therapy work on the horses has been a very hotly debated one over the last few years. We believe that what we do with horses probably is much less aversive to them than many of the other things that are done to horses in the name of human endeavors, things like horse racing where there are extreme measures applied to horses to make them run at their fastest. Angie’s love for her horses, consistent care for their well-being and insuring good living conditions for them extends to which equines are used for which session activities – she is aware of which horses are sensitive or likely to be adversely effected by particular activities.
We do see our horses show some signs of getting soured on human efforts to get them to do some things (as I am sure you get soured on humans too). We believe that providing the horses with a good balance of horse/human interaction, some therapy and other respectful and well-communicated interaction, can prevent or ameliorate that souring. We also see our horses consistently coming over to the humans during the debriefing time and standing with us in a way that suggests they are attracted to the sincerity and honesty of what the humans are doing there. We also have an equine (Shorty) who runs free on the farm (not confined by the fencing due to his size) and often chooses to come with the other horses into the therapy arena when he knows that our human clients are there and other horses are going for the sessions. His choice to come says something of how desirable the activities are from an equine perspective.
The venture of helping humans live more effective, less aggressive and selfish lives, can be an onerous and risky one. The damage done by human greed and disrespect for other creatures (human and of other species) is one that we should all take seriously, and use the full range of our creativity and insight to resolve. I am so glad that our equines are willing to work in cooperation with us to do that.
Again, thanks for writing.
Terry
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September 13th, 2008
A few years ago the movie The Perfect Storm told the story of a combination of conditions leading to a massive storm in the Atlantic Ocean. In the middle of it all, at a point of calamitous intersection, a ship was precisely in the wrong place. Ah, the drama.
Often our lives can feel like we are in the midst of a Perfect Storm. Too many things can go wrong at the same time. We can end up feeling overwhelmed – swamped as was that poor vessel in the middle of the Atlantic.
In our arena with Joe and Babs and Shorty we got to witness a Perfect Storm of a different nature. Several human strategies lined up all at the same time so that Joe gingerly stepped over a rail suspended between two standards in the middle of the arena.
That might not seem to be much of a “storm” but it was absolutely huge. A group of teens had been trying to get that to happen over a course of four weekly sessions. They came into the session discouraged that they were still working on the same task, wanting to give up, likely believing that it was impossible.
And then came the perfect storm, the perfect alignment of conditions. It happened. So let me identify all of these elements.
First of all we had changed horses for the session. Certainly, the previous horses we had used (Niska and Shmu) were perfectly capable of going over the obstacle but the energy and lack of confidence of the group meant that they had no real need to do so. Sometimes we need to radically change who we are in relationship with to be able to get life going ahead. Perhaps we got stuck in a group of friends, or with a product in the workplace that we are committed to, or a culture of attitudes within our family. Sometimes we just need to try investing in different relationships to bring out more of our potential.
Secondly, the group of teens started to use resources around them that had been ignored up until that successful session. We keep a bunch of peculiar toys in the arena (old tires, pool noodles, hula-hoops) which ended up figuring prominently in the successful storm of Joe stepping over the obstacle. Sometimes we need to stop and look at what is around us that we have been ignoring. The toys created some energy in the hands of the group, and certainly the right amount and kind of energy contributed to the right amount and kind of movement in dear old Joe.
Thirdly, the group created some boundaries for the horse. While these boundaries were largely symbolic (the horse could have easily stepped over them) they still created a sense of direction for the horse, and the humans. We can end up drifting and not really getting anywhere if there are not some boundaries to help us keep a focus on direction for our lives.
Fourthly, the group success came when the group was of a single purpose and working together. This group had a tendency to lose focus and become split in their attention. Throughout the session we had seen deliberate and diligent effort to work together even in the face of discouragement.
Fifthly, the group actually made a change to the difficulty level of the task they were trying to accomplish. Rather than just accept an objective that was seemingly impossible, they decided to make it easier to accomplish. Often we set our goals too high. Reconsidering our goals, bringing them into line with what is reasonable to our own minds to accomplish, can help us to keep working and eventually succeed.
A perfect combination.
I wouldn’t say that Joe “stormed” over the rail, it was more like a delicate and careful step on his part, with an entourage of teens, adults, hula-hoops, pool noodles behind him.
Sweet
(this photo was from another day, with other horses, calming waiting for the humans to get their act together)
Whinnying off for now
Terry
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August 30th, 2008
As a psychologist often people ask for me strategies to get things to happen differently in their lives. Typically there is a particular outcome that they have been seeking that is escaping them. Perhaps they have been trying the same thing over and over again, without success, and believe that an expert would have a different approach. Seeking the expert opinion is but one way of working our way through a problem.
Often in the middle of our frustration and confusion we retreat back to what has worked in the past, bringing forward an old strategy to see if it will work again. Unfortunately though, typically conditions are not the same and so the strategy isn’t a fit.
In a recent day of working with the horses we witnessed two different groups trying the exact same strategy based on what they had previously observed to motivate the horse. Both groups were trying to get the horse over an obstacle, both groups had witnessed the horse walking into the human group during debriefing when genuineness and honesty was present. Both groups thought that if they formed up a group with a sense of intense internal focus on the other side of the obstacle that the horses would be motivated to join them. In the process, of course, the horse would go over the obstacle.
It didn’t work for either group.
One of the groups kept at it quite a while – they were sitting on the ground playing a hand-slapping game with the horse watching them from the other side of the obstacle. I guess the horse didn’t join them because the horse had no hand to slap with. The other group, knowing that they were prohibited by the rules from talking, huddled together and made vocalizations in no particular language and did so with enthusiasm and expectation – that was amusing in itself but not enough to attract the horse.
The trouble with strategies engineered to get something to happen is that the intent to manipulate becomes the focus of the spirit rather than the intent on being genuine, heartfelt, or relationship focused. Perhaps you recall your own reaction when others are doing something to try to get a particular behavior out of you. If you are anything like me, you might get your back up. Whether it is a preacher trying to get me to believe some theological proposition or a salesman trying to get me to increase his commission cheque, we don’t like being manipulated or told what we should think, believe or do. Of course, children react to this all the time – if there is insufficient pay-off of comfort and confirmation in following directions, they get their back up and don’t want to “just obey” as we think that they should.
Now our horses hardly had their backs up (or whatever the equine equivalent of that would have been). In fact, our horses looked particularly relaxed given that pressure was off them when the humans were grouped up – nothing bad was going to happen to them where they were. But the humans were hardly getting the job done – they felt considerably more frustration.
Of course, most groups working with us eventually get this over-the-obstacle-thing to happen. And there is a wide variety of ways that they do it. For sure though, it helps when they don’t do it slyly, when they don’t pretend one thing to achieve another. Typically when they approach the task with direct, active and clear communication with the horse the horse goes over the obstacle. It is not always easy; but the harder it is, the more satisfying when it happens.
For humans, I believe that we are happier when others respond to us if we are direct, actively engaged with them and clear in our communication. Funny thing, eh? And we spend all that time thinking that we can manipulate our way by hiding our motives and tricking others into doing what we want. Silly humans!
Whinnying off for now,
Terry
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August 17th, 2008
When we conduct a day long workshop we typically spend about ½ hour in our cottage with our clients first thing in the morning. That time allows us to go over what they can expect on the day as they interact with the animals. Recently, one of our clients gave a marvelously human response to that briefing, revealing the very best of what it means to be human… perhaps I might say, how horse-like of her!
We were talking about how the horse reads the true intentions, feelings and perspective that we have within us as we interact with them. Horses are not fooled by diplomatic language (although they likely will detect if there is kindness, grace or compassion that motivates that language). In previous columns I have commented on our horses being “genuineness detectors”. When our humans are debriefing an activity with the horses standing around, a horse will generally go over to an emotionally honest and open human to stand there enjoying the positive energy.
In human interaction though, how often we pride ourselves in being disingenuous! We can think that the object of relating to another person is to get a particular outcome – and perhaps we intend to out-think or out-manipulate the way circumstances are viewed in order for that outcome to be obtained. We spend a lifetime doing this: parents ask the sheepish looking or evasive child what he/she has done to get a defiantly spoken “nothing” back; or an elderly adult wracked with pain from body wear and tear responds with the word “fine” when asked how they are. In the business world, or even just office politics, we middle aged folk can play complicated gains to win an advantage.
As a psychologist I often have people ask me what they can do to get another person to change in a particular way. It is never satisfactory when I say “ask them” or “you can’t”. We psychologists are viewed as the engineers of behavior who should be able to identify a purposeful process to get a desired outcome. Of course the asker doesn’t want to be found out, wants to have the power of creating a difference in the other person without the will or awareness of the other person being triggered.
Speaking of “Trigger” I don’t see these processes happening in the horse paddock. Sure enough horses get other horses to move and to interact in some interesting ways. Everything though is right out in the open. The horse which moves knows clearly why he/she is moving (it could be from a set of teeth digging into the rump).
And so when we come back to our ultra-human, our human to the extent of being almost horse-like, client a very simple statement revealed great wisdom. Her reaction to being told that horses could detect the genuine perspective within us was this: she responded simply by saying she would need to make sure that good will and positive perspective was nurtured inside of her, this before she went out to be with the horses.
I wonder what it would be like if all of us, all the time, took the time to be genuine in positive and respectful ways. What would our interaction be like if we nurtured a positive perspective and exercised a true desire for the good will of others as well as ourselves, if we did it as an internal discipline rather than a opportunistic effort to eek out of the world some advantage for ourselves? I think that if such was the case we would each know our place within the stable functioning of groups, that we would truly enjoy the food that we ate and our bodies would get the best nutrition out of it, that we would be more playful and appreciative. That perhaps we would be more like the herd in Angie’s paddock.
Now I don’t think that horses ever step back from themselves and deliberately chose to be genuine. Thankfully (for them) they don’t need to. And I suspect that the client who left our cottage to go and interact with our horses with genuineness and clarity in her soul probably gets a better outcome for herself, and the others around her in the human world, when she disciplines herself to that particular approach in her human interactions.
And maybe if we do it often enough, and with enough deep awareness of the value of being like that, then maybe we can catch up to the horses running ahead of us in their wisdom, grounded-ness and presence in their world.
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Whinnying off for now,
Terry
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