Bringing our genuine selves.
When we conduct a day long workshop we typically spend about ½ hour in our cottage with our clients first thing in the morning. That time allows us to go over what they can expect on the day as they interact with the animals. Recently, one of our clients gave a marvelously human response to that briefing, revealing the very best of what it means to be human… perhaps I might say, how horse-like of her!
We were talking about how the horse reads the true intentions, feelings and perspective that we have within us as we interact with them. Horses are not fooled by diplomatic language (although they likely will detect if there is kindness, grace or compassion that motivates that language). In previous columns I have commented on our horses being “genuineness detectors”. When our humans are debriefing an activity with the horses standing around, a horse will generally go over to an emotionally honest and open human to stand there enjoying the positive energy.
In human interaction though, how often we pride ourselves in being disingenuous! We can think that the object of relating to another person is to get a particular outcome – and perhaps we intend to out-think or out-manipulate the way circumstances are viewed in order for that outcome to be obtained. We spend a lifetime doing this: parents ask the sheepish looking or evasive child what he/she has done to get a defiantly spoken “nothing” back; or an elderly adult wracked with pain from body wear and tear responds with the word “fine” when asked how they are. In the business world, or even just office politics, we middle aged folk can play complicated gains to win an advantage.
As a psychologist I often have people ask me what they can do to get another person to change in a particular way. It is never satisfactory when I say “ask them” or “you can’t”. We psychologists are viewed as the engineers of behavior who should be able to identify a purposeful process to get a desired outcome. Of course the asker doesn’t want to be found out, wants to have the power of creating a difference in the other person without the will or awareness of the other person being triggered.
Speaking of “Trigger” I don’t see these processes happening in the horse paddock. Sure enough horses get other horses to move and to interact in some interesting ways. Everything though is right out in the open. The horse which moves knows clearly why he/she is moving (it could be from a set of teeth digging into the rump).
And so when we come back to our ultra-human, our human to the extent of being almost horse-like, client a very simple statement revealed great wisdom. Her reaction to being told that horses could detect the genuine perspective within us was this: she responded simply by saying she would need to make sure that good will and positive perspective was nurtured inside of her, this before she went out to be with the horses.
I wonder what it would be like if all of us, all the time, took the time to be genuine in positive and respectful ways. What would our interaction be like if we nurtured a positive perspective and exercised a true desire for the good will of others as well as ourselves, if we did it as an internal discipline rather than a opportunistic effort to eek out of the world some advantage for ourselves? I think that if such was the case we would each know our place within the stable functioning of groups, that we would truly enjoy the food that we ate and our bodies would get the best nutrition out of it, that we would be more playful and appreciative. That perhaps we would be more like the herd in Angie’s paddock.
Now I don’t think that horses ever step back from themselves and deliberately chose to be genuine. Thankfully (for them) they don’t need to. And I suspect that the client who left our cottage to go and interact with our horses with genuineness and clarity in her soul probably gets a better outcome for herself, and the others around her in the human world, when she disciplines herself to that particular approach in her human interactions.
And maybe if we do it often enough, and with enough deep awareness of the value of being like that, then maybe we can catch up to the horses running ahead of us in their wisdom, grounded-ness and presence in their world.
And so, readers of The Wise Equine, this is our first blog. Just below on the page are two clickable opportunities for you. You can send us a comment by clicking just a line or two below. And you can also subscribe to get this blog sent to you automatically through the RSS feed (which I just learn stands for Really Simple Syndication!). We hope you can make the transition from e-zine to a blog with us as we update to this newer and more commonly used distribution system.
Whinnying off for now,
Terry
August 18th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Thank you for a wonderful article and beautiful insights. Although I always read your newsletter with interest and appreciation, this one really captured my attention. You capture and articulate your clients insight so powerfully. Thank you for the continued leadership and mentoring you provide to all of us through your sharing.
August 18th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Hi Terry,
My first exposure to ‘blog’. congratulations and go well Terry!
Ciao
Jo-Ann
August 30th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
From my life experience, I can say that: If a person is direct, they tend to be trusted by others.So it goes with horses.
September 15th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I think you got me to step over the RSS pole. Being subjected to a variety of humans seems burdensome or unfair for the horses. Do they reveal bordem or bemusement or “beleaguredness”? What’s in it for the horses?