Regrouping
The scenario is very familiar to us. On one side of the arena we have the horses and on the other side a huddle of humans. The humans have been trying the same thing over and over again. It hasn’t been accomplishing their goal. Sure, they had some partial successes, but a great deal of effort failed to get the targeted end result. Now they are regrouping to figure what to do next.
And while the horses reactions to the repeated efforts seemed resistant, stubborn or frustrating to the humans, those reactions made perfect sense in the clear wisdom of the horse: communication from the humans was not clear, was not respectful, often was not even there in any recognizable way. Not only that, the human response was often filled with anxiety or frustration – horses are sensitive and while they might not have known why that emotion was there, certainly they picked up on it when it occurred.
Angie and I would stand aside and let the huddle of humans regroup, would allow them to generate ideas and take wisdom from the ways the horses responded to them to that point. Typically they would go back with some new energy, or a different idea, or even a different sense of leadership within themselves.
Well, this scenario is happening again. It is happening with roles slightly reversed. Angie and I are the ones are regrouping.
As I have written this blog I have wrestled with whether or not to include a part of this scenario. Well, here goes: the horses have been telling us something for years and while Angie had noticed and we had made some adjustments and considerations to the equines involved, we had not realized how important that communication from the horses had been.
Because ours is a respectful and cooperative partnership I asked Angie for her thoughts on what I’d written and this is how she replied.
“Equines are always well aware of the hierarchy in the herd, and they are constantly challenging the ones who rank above them. It’s no different in the horse/human relationship; equines challenge our leadership each time we interact with them. I have found that while doing this work the equines have too often succeeded in rising above the humans which has made them more difficult to work with as time goes by. This difficulty could probably be minimized if I were to regularly ride and work the equines using clear communication and well developed leadership skills however it seems as though other priorities have taken up all of my time. It seems as though the crazily busy life style is a recurring theme for so many people these days.
I’ve spent a lot of time regrouping and thinking about how we can continue to do this work in a way that provides more clarity for equines and humans. There has also been some time invested into some of the equines with positive results. In conclusion, I’m happy to say that I’ve come up with some creative solutions that I feel will be of great benefit to all involved.
… and back to Terry’s voice again… Of course, as a psychologist I work with humans regrouping all the time. They come to my office struggling with the craziness of doing the same thing over and over again expecting to get a different result. The psychologist’s office can be a place to examine unworkable perspectives and patterns. And as we work through the anxiety and frustration we typically bring back the basics of healthy living that had been left out of the unsuccessful efforts before.
As a psychologist I frequently refocus the humans onto basic values. Typically I find that they have become too attached to a particular desired outcome, strategizing to get what they want even if that was at the expense of who they were. And it makes sense that they have been depressed in the process.
And so, Angie and I are taking some time to go back to some basic values and will recreate our program in line with these values. We can’t tell you right now exactly what our program is going to look like, but these things that have been important to Angie and me are sure to be included.
First of all, we will make sure that communication and interaction will be respectful. We work hard in our interaction with our human clientele to ask respectful questions of them. Between Angie and I there is a pattern of respectful acknowledgement of differences in contribution and efforts. Angie has a profound respect for the well-being of her equines as she cares for them and interacts with them. Yes, this is one of the values that has to be in everything that we do.
Secondly, as we re-create our program for the betterment of humans we will draw on wisdom that we have gained in the many years of our life work. Angie has four decades of equine experience, and I have more than three decades of work as a psychologist. There are resources of knowledge and awareness that we can bring to this venture that can be included in a different approach.
Thirdly, our love of horses, and of humans, will be the basis of what we do. There is great power and vulnerability in both species. Human ventures can go sour, can misuse power and can take advantage of vulnerability – but human ventures (such as Equine Wise Services) can also be powerful without creating harm, without being exploitive, and without leaving residuals of resistance and the need for reactive self-protection.
And I feel this inside, so strong: Coming soon is our next way of generating that unique human wisdom that can be gained through horseplay. That is what Equine Wise Services will always be about.
Whinnying off for now, and perhaps for a while,
Terry
